oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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