My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Two words: blizzard sex
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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