she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
