I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize