I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
