no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
