Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
