barbara walters just said penis...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
