I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize