i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
