Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
