I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
