piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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