don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
