apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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