The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
