apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
