okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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