JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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