Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
