It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
