The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
