It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
