PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
