I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize