so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
