i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
