tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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