peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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