Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
