Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
