She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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