thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
