i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
ugly people sure do ruin things
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
