Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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