Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
