His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
