I think my fart just growled at me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
