Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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