Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think my vagina is haunted
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
