I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
