i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize