I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
