I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How drunk are you?
Completed.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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