Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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