Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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