I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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