He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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