I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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