if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
