I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
