the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
