It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
