Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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