you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
