Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
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