i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
