I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
