We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dick very happy bro
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
