Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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