Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it hurts more in the daytime
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
