She said her name was "party"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize