dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
