When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
