Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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