you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize