Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
dude. I can hear the air.
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