I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
