nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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