Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
