if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
