Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
