another moral hangover. fuck.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize