Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
