I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
