She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
