are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
