i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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