Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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