there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
