Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Randomize
