2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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