we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
