One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
