4 words: hood of his car
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Did I show you my penis last night?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
